quiet time

I don't quite know where to begin but I suppose the beginning would be most appropriate.  As I sit here in the quiet on Sunday.... Friday night seems far in the distant past.

Friday, Sept.27, 2013

5:15 p.m.
With the kid's bags packed for one night, I drove to Spielo at 5 p.m where Ryan and I did a speedy exchange of vehicles.  He drove off with both kids and I drove off..... alone.

5: 20 p.m.
I was somewhat in a daze as I left the parking lot alone in a vehicle that doesn't scream 'I'm a mom'.  I opened the sun roof, stepped on the gas and squealed like a school girl.  Seriously.  (I know.  How pathetic).

This was the first time in I have no idea how many.... YEARS.... that I have been alone for more than 3 hours.  At this point, it had only been 5 minutes but I was giddy.  I had 24 hours to kill.  All by myself.  So, I got settled into my adult car and drove off..... all by myself.

6:30 p.m.
When I walked in the door of our home with my sushi supper in hand, I was struck by the silence.  It was too quiet.

I got settled, poured myself a glass of wine, checked my email, tidied up the rest of the toys that laid around and sat uncomfortably in the silence.  It was odd.

Saturday, Sept. 28, 2013
At 3:30 p.m. I went for a bike ride and completely settled into this uncomfortable freedom that was going to be mine for another two or three hours at most.  It had been almost 24 hours but all of a sudden I wanted more.  Now, 24 hours wasn't long enough....

When Ryan got home with Leo at 6:15 p.m. I was anxiously waiting their arrival.  Ruby had fallen asleep before supper so we decided to let her spend one more night with Nana and Poppy in Sackville.  Leo had fallen asleep on the drive  home.  I picked him up from his car seat and carried him in to his bed, as I have done so many times before but this time was different.  I had missed him.  I had missed his beautiful smell, the weight of his body and the feeling of perfect love when he laid his tiny head on my shoulder and hugged me.  He was home.  I was home.

Life these days is challenging.  Having two young kids is not easy.  I'm working hard every day to keep it together.  I respect all moms everywhere who have done this and managed to have a kind word at the end of the day to share with their husbands.  Ryan is a good man.  I love you and Thank you for sticking with me in these very tumultuous times.  And, to all the other helpers we have - Mom, Dad, Robin, Ryah, Margie and Norbert, Thank YOU!!
Life would be impossible without you all.

So.... there are no pictures of my 24-hours of freedom, just great memories in my mind.
Kids - if and when you are reading this..... no offence.  Seriously.  Let's talk when you have kids.

Love and Big Hugs.
-Laurie oxoxox